Terrible Portarlington bashing in progress.
Since the town is a 20 min walk from the station, and you can't walk that far cos you work in IT or in law and you can't make it to nice pubs like The Continental and The Anvil and The Pint O'Port and O'Dea's -
instead you're invited to my house for tea and mini-chocolate swiss rolls if they ever find yourself stranded by IE (like between 13:35 & 15:51 Dublin bound). Repeat after me:
Portarlington is the centre of the universe
Portarlington is the centre of the universe