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Unread 13-01-2007, 23:14   #1
Mark Gleeson
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Default [12-1-2007] 13:30 Cork Dublin

A little late for up to date information

The 13:30 got stuck in Cork station and couldn't pull away, nothing to do with the locomotive or Mk4 coaches

Prize for the first person to figure out why!
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Unread 13-01-2007, 23:25   #2
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You say not locomotive and not carriages. My powers of logic are telling me it was therefore the fault of the DVT*. Right?

They forgot to turn it on? The cables between the DVT and the locomotive weren't plugged in? The driver got in the wrong end?





* in the interests of those reading this public section of the boards, driving van trailer, aka 'the pointy end', generator van, or whatever. In the case of this train, it (I think?) supplies power for things like lights and heat through the train, and enables the driver to drive when the locomotive is at the back - in current operation, Cork to Dublin, subject to correction, is in this format?
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Unread 13-01-2007, 23:35   #3
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Train was totally clear of fault. It did make it to Dublin with no passengers later, passengers got the 14:30

The hint is Cork station is on a tight curve, think what that means
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Unread 13-01-2007, 23:42   #4
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The 'gap' was too big to mind?
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Unread 13-01-2007, 23:52   #5
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Lets just say the coefficent of friction was not what it should be, think about a train and a sharp bend
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Unread 14-01-2007, 00:34   #6
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Jaysus Mark, would you just say it and be done with it. We've known since Friday night.
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Unread 14-01-2007, 00:37   #7
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Its more fun this way
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Unread 14-01-2007, 00:49   #8
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I have a picture in my head of the train separating and half of it rolling towards the tunnel out of Cork station and the other half creaking backwards...that couldn't be it?
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Unread 14-01-2007, 01:15   #9
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There is a curve, train wheels squeal so you deal with it through grease, won't take much to figure it out now
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Unread 15-01-2007, 11:40   #10
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A leaf was detected between cork and mallow and a crack team of engineers with spatulas were sent out to scrape it off?
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Unread 15-01-2007, 11:53   #11
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The train ran over Craig Doyle, his blood caused the train wheels to slip badly whilst his bones mangled the traction unit.

Meanwhile, his eyeballs shot out through the floor of the cab and impacted into the genitals of the driver causing him to shout "Oh me balls". This awakened a grumpy Badger from his Winter sleep, and he went on a rampage biting everyone he met, including Sean Murtage, a hapless fellow from Skibbereen who was just taking his consitutional that day.

Sean developed TB. He took to his bed and starrted suffering from delusions. These included quoting numbers which, happily for Mary, his wife, were the winning Euro Lotto Millions. With the €100 million he won Sean went to visit Aidnan Cashoggii and rented out a private army, came back to Ireland, deposed the State and set up a military junta. Many executions followed and by decree Matt Cooper has been established as the Official Religion of the State.

Much weeping and gnashing of teeth developed, whcih was handy for the dental trade. Using their new influence over the country the Dentists staged a coup, deposing the dictator Murtagh and amputating his mouth. the Dentists then performed un-nesssissaty corrective tratment on everyone, including strainge and weird epesodes of Orthodonics on the enderly and the lame. Meanwhile, using what little power his had left, Murtagh staged a rebellion from Mayo, but was utterly defeated in battle in Nielstown, where nobody noticed anything.

The dentists went on to rule for a thousand years untill they got fed up and went to live an an island somwhere with my cat.

Is that what happend?

Was it?

Was it?

Was it?
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Unread 15-01-2007, 12:25   #12
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Suprisingly the first sentence is the closest anyone has got to the real reason

Craig Doyle was nowhere to be seen anywhere
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Unread 15-01-2007, 12:39   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Gleeson View Post

Craig Doyle was nowhere to be seen anywhere
That's because he was so mashed up.
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Unread 15-01-2007, 14:11   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas J Stamp View Post
That's because he was so mashed up.
And is only identifiable by the dental records of his dazzling 100watt smile.
Ah Craig
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Unread 15-01-2007, 14:41   #15
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Quote:
Suprisingly the first sentence is the closest anyone has got to the real reason
What do I win?
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Unread 15-01-2007, 15:40   #16
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A framed, signed photograph of Craig Doyle. Oh yeah.
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Unread 15-01-2007, 15:44   #17
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If you subsitute the blood for something else you get the answer

Thought people would have worked it out
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Unread 15-01-2007, 15:55   #18
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Something else.......?

The Ugandan Navy on manouvers in the South Pacific?

Hordes of Wilderbeats gliding majesticly on the African Plains?

A large bottle of Dettol getting drunk in a pub?

Seventeen Spanish Tomatoes kidnapping a Japanses Tourist and holding her to ransom in Moore Street?

A large envelope kicking a small child in the face on The Angelus?

Global Warming resulting in the Earth Spinning out of Control and into the back of my Car whilst I'm waiting for an old lady to cross a zebra crossing?
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Unread 15-01-2007, 16:27   #19
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Ok the story goes

Cork station is on a tight curve, we all know the crazy gap to the platform as a result

They grease the side of the rails to the wheels don't squeel also saves on wheel wear.

Story is someone got a little over eager with the grease. Wheels go round and round and the train don't move much

War broke out as the blame as pinned on the right department
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Unread 15-01-2007, 16:34   #20
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So the train was like old coyote chasing road runner. He'd go over the cliff and keep running but didn't go anywhere!-well except down.
Jaysus, how much grease would you to apply to a wheel to cause this!? Perhaps the IE canteen in Cork station had plenty from the morning fry and the eager worker remembering the reduce,reuse,recycle mantra (over)did his bit for the world.
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